Love Letters?

Should I be writing Love Letters to a married woman?

Let me explain. Recently a woman I am close with wrote me a letter, ultimately saying goodbye and that she could not take the struggle any longer. Her marriage has been rocky for several years now, she is raising a child that is not her own, she works long hours, and barely gets by on bills. Life was getting rough and her partner who is supposed to be a team player rooting for her, had stopped caring or participating. She had become a one woman team with a room mate who complained that the team wasn't making any goals.

The letter she wrote me was heart breaking. She was reaching out to me, not asking for help, but just letting me know she was done. She wanted someone to know that she had tried, and she wasn't giving up, but quitting the team altogether.

The letter through me. I didn't know what to say or how to fix the problem. The next few days it was stuck on my mind and I couldn't shake the feeling. I had a morning off from work and decided to stop into a shopping store. Passing by a rack, I saw shirts at fairly decent prices. Excited I started trying stuff on and by the end of my shopping spree, I only had one shirt in my shopping bag and it wasn't for me. In the end I bought my friend a shirt and some chocolate. When I got to her work place I just assumed I would get a sticky note and write her name on it. Instead I ended up with computer paper and a letter that made me cry.

I explained the shirt was beautiful just like her soul. And the chocolate was rich, just like her heart is rich with love. I spoke of her own inner strength. That it was deep within her and she could pull it forward on her own.

I thought writing the letter would make me feel like I was paying it forward. Make me happy and fuzzy inside. But as I wrote words of encouragement and strength, I became more saddened by each word. Was this my job? My responsibility? Perhaps as a friend, yes giving a loving word of advise and a small gift to bring joy for a moment. But as I finished up the letter I felt more and more like I was doing the man's job. Isn't your husband supposed to say he is sorry and send you flowers? Isn't he supposed to show up to your work and take you to lunch asking for forgiveness. Why was I the one to give her strength and hope, when I am not the one married to her? I'm not apart of the team. I'm not the coach or even the water-boy. If anything I may be a cheerleader, only standing on the side lines watching as the team attempts to make a goal happen.

In the end, it made her day, thanking me for my thoughts and gestures. How is her marriage? Still on the rocks. How is her job? Still long and hard labor. How are her bills? Still living a paycheck at a time. But for a moment she had a glow about her and in the end that is all that matters. That a small bit of hope was restored.

Have a Sweeter Day Than Yesterday  

The Empowerment Plan

It started out as a project for a college class. Instructed to design and make something that would fill a need, Veronica Scott walked into a homeless shelter to go to a direct source. She spoke with homeless people and asked them what they needed most. Most became anger by the the question, however, a few sat down and tossed some ideas. And that was when Veronica went home to work in her basement and design a coat that would keep warmth, keep out rain, and be able to expand into a sleeping bag. While researching the company I found the creator had been invited to do a Ted Talk! And as you know I love Ted Talks! For such a young person she has been able to do so much.

Max's Story  how The Empowerment Plan succeeded in changing lives.Here is an article about a woman who was finally released from prison and how Veronica's project did more than just keep one person warm. Veronica's open heart has not only created a coat that is functional but has actually succeeded in giving people lives back. With a steady job, a person can have a place to live and food in their belly.

Most of us see a homeless person and the street and judge them for their actions that led them there. This judgement is leads nowhere. Not only does it keep people on the streets but it shows us who we really are, selfish and small minded. We can't see past our noses. Understandable that we all have issues as well, but hearing Veronica's Empowerment Plan and how it creates jobs as well as helps the homeless, I can't help but be in awe of her natural brain process. Of course if you watch the video that introduced me to this fantastic idea, you'll see that everything just happened by chance. Even so, the idea and the process fascinates me. My hope is one day to meet Veronica in person and help in some small way. After all a leader who can be so young and so selfless is someone I wish to be near.

The Empowerment Plan for more information, this is their direct site.

like them on Facebook


As always thank you for reading and I hope this motivated you to do something or create something for someone in need. If you know someone who could use a Empowerment Coat, please look up and see if it can be delivered to your area and I will pay for half of it. I love this idea and would like to spread this project worldwide.

Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday 

Goals

So I'm lost. Not going to lie, I'm not sure where I should go from here. My last blog was about being stressed. This one is about understanding there are things you can't change and things you can. Back to being lost. I'm kinda in a rut with my so called career and sometimes I want something different, however, when it comes to sitting down and trying to find out what that something different is, I draw a blank. So what do you do when you're not sure what the big picture is, start small and set some goals!

Goals: the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. 

synonyms:

objective, aim, end, target, design, intention, intent, plan, purpose

I sat down and tried to think of all the things I wanted to accomplish. I went so far as to write the ones I thought were impossible to see what they looked like on paper. Were they really that impossible? Was there something else on my list that might?

Goals in NO Specific Order:
1) Own a Bed and Breakfast or Event Center
2) Write on my blog once a week - consistently
3) Take Dance lessons with my husband; example Latin Dance
4) Take a Yoga Teaching Training Course
5) Take a Social Media Branding course
6) Start reading novels regularly again
7) Buy a house
8) Start a family
9) Become an enlightenment teacher
10) Be involved in church

So I must admit, I started this list back in November. In fact I started writing this blog posting back in November. Things have changed a little. Life has slowed a bit. For about two months I had 3 part time jobs. I juggled them all through Christmas, mostly for the money and also because I wasn't sure which job was for me. Finally making a decision I found a place that is near wear I live now and I love the people that I work with.

I even managed to reach a couple of my goals. Now in a small book club, I'm reading more and actually have people to talk about the books. I'm involved in a church and help with some of their social media outlets. My husband and I went dancing! I found a Salsa group that meets every 3rd Saturday. My husband actually had fun and we are going to try to go more often.

The more goals I reach the more want to reach my others. They will probably change. I may take some away and add others. But for now here's to moving forward. Trying to reach goals can be difficult. A lot of people get lost when trying to reach the big goals and forget about the little goals that can either lead to great opportunities or just even small victories. For help on goal reaching I found a couple of articles that may help.

6 Ways to Achieve Any Goal

How to Reach Your Goals 11 Steps

Top 10 Reasons Why People Don't Reach Their Goals

One of these tips is telling other people about your goals. Kind of like when trying to lose weight or starting a work out challenge. Having people hold you accountable for your goals and of course having others cheer you on. Hope this post motivates you to to start really thinking about what you want out of your life. I'd love to see your goals!

Thanks for reading. 

Have A Sweeter Day than Yesterday!

Relax!

Busy, busy, busy! I have been all over the place. We got settled into our new home and then work and life happened. Been trying to get some sort of schedule down. For the past couple months we have gone through a lot of ups and downs. Been under quite a bit of stress lately. Because of all the stuff going on, I have been having trouble sleeping. And if you have trouble sleeping you know, the next is really hard on your body and your mind.

One night I was doing my usual, worrying about things I couldn't change, and I caught myself wondering why I was wasting all this time instead of getting my beauty sleep. Have you ever tried to force yourself not to think? It's a little difficult.

The next day I made a point to look up yoga videos and start making a plan on yoga and mediation. I needed to learn to not think and get a part of day where I could recharge. Check out this article on basic ways to Recharge your body and your mind. I did a little of both. Being active or physical as well as meditation.

Once I found a yoga video that I felt would be at the pace I wanted I got settled in and pushed play. After a few poses I found, I wasn't listening to the instructor but still in my head worrying and just following the yogi's moves. Frustrated I thought back to my Maine Yoga Fest weekend. I had so much fun and the rest of the week I felt amazing and happy. I tried thinking of those couple of days and what maybe I needed to add to my routine. And then it came to me, music. When I was in my yoga classes, they would play music in the background, calming tones without lyrics. Where do you find music for yoga for free? YouTube! Well, that's where I found mine.

I now have my favorites. Following several channels and returning to the videos that I felt the most relaxed and comfortable listening to. The one above is for when I'm doing yoga or when I just need 5 or 10 minutes of silence in my head. I love it when I'm working and I just need to concentrate or just dealt with an unpleasant person. The customer is always right ya know! So it's just nice to center myself and get back into a neutral mood.

The videos are all different lengths. They start out at 3 hours but some are as long as 8 hours long. The one above I play right before I go to bed. Placing my phone near my pillow, I play the video and pray. I start out asking for help with everything going on and what I feel I can't handle. Once I feel that it's going into complaining mode, I start thanking God for the things I do have and things I can do. At some point I fall asleep.

Now these videos, yoga, and praying has worked for me, but it's understandable that it may not work for you. Some steps to figure out what does? Check out the link above titled Recharge and pick out a couple to try. Do them for a week and be consistent. A certain time every day or after a particular unpleasant event. Figure out which one works best for you. Your body isn't meant to continuously take on stress. That's why we are able to laugh or cry. We have breaking points that help us let go of everything all at once. Or we have some breaks from pain with a smile or giggle. Don't let stress hold you down. Take the time every day to push Reset. Your mind and body will thank you. You'll be more adaptable to your situations. You'll be more productive. And you'll be happier.

Thanks for Reading! 

Have a Sweeter Day Than Yesterday

Negative Ninees

You guesses it! This blog is about those Negative Ninees in your life.

They are everywhere. You can't get away from them. They're your friends, your coworkers and even your family members. If you read my blog Be Happy I mention an article that had a list of 39 things or habits happy people do daily. Check out the list. There's some good stuff on there. However, there is number 9, which says, "there best friends are happy people too." Now I'm expanding that thought from just friends but to people in general that are close to you. I've also read in other articles that people who are getting on a track of success need to get rid of those negative people in order to focus on their success and not let those no sayers drag them down. But sometimes these people are not so easy to get rid of and obviously if it's family you still want those people in your life.So this weeks positive thought is just some How To's that I learned the hard way and some I read about.

How to handle with Nay Sayers

1.) Stop telling them your dreams: if you have over the top dreams and you've mentioned it to a family member or friend and nothing good comes out of their mouth, you should probably stop trying to share your ambitions. In fact the people you should be talking to are people who are doing what you want to be doing, aka Networking. These people will help you by giving you advice or you may just watch and learn from the pros. Now some negative people may think that they are trying to help, they believe you are reaching to high. That's understandable, however, hearing over and over again that your dream is not realistic will end up turning into a reality because you too will start to believe it. So stop asking for advice or confiding in the wrong people, they will see your greatness soon enough.

2.) Spend more time away from them: again family and friends are hard to stay away from. But if you know you have to do a big project at work and that certain someone in your life is going to say, "well you don't have enough time," or "you don't have the resources." I read an article that was titled, How To Deal With Energy Vampires: 8 Simple Tips and found it not only a little humorous but helpful. Some people don't know how to be supportive. They are just naturally negative. Just remember that negative energy is contagious and you don't want to catch it.

3.) Ignore their criticisms: The link beside #3 is a pretty good article that might help you ignore negative people. The best way to be around people who are always saying negative things is to ignore them. Or you could try to be extremely positive and always have nice and kind things to say about everything and anything. Why? Just like negative energy, positive energy is also contagious. I do, however, know a few people who can not be happy. In fact they are not happy unless they are complaining. But I still try my hardest to be a ray of sunshine because you never know when you can be a positive influence on someone.

4.) Understand they may be jealous of your passion: a lot of negative people have things in their lives that are dragging them down. So when you come in as a ball of energy singing about a new job opportunity or about your new invention or your new dream to star on The Voice, they are not so supportive. They tend to break your dreams done with realistic logic. One thing to notice though is that these same people are where they are because of that same logic. It obviously pays to think logically when reaching for your dreams, coming up with plans of attack that will align you on the right path. However, you must also take risks and get out of your comfort zone in order to do great things. So again don't let them take your dreams from you because they are afraid to reach for theirs. Instead understand their limitations, but don't judge them.

So that's my thoughts for this week. Hope this helps you the next time you're super excited about your next adventure and you know a Negative Ninee isn't going to have faith in you, don't despair. Just ignore those dark comments and pointed jabs. Keep your distance mentally and if you can try to bring some light to those Debbie Downers, DO IT. Keep your dreams high, reach out to them daily, and be a shiny spot in someone's life.

Thanks for Reading!

~~~~

Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday 

Daddy's Should Set the Bar High

Okay ladies and gentlemen, a little life lesson from my perspective as a young girl growing up. First let me say this blog is not meant to be judgy, but more my thoughts based on my experiences and what I want for little girls who will eventually become young women. 

I saw the above quote floating around Facebook and I just had to share it. "A daughter needs a Dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men." Which I totally agree. 

Dads get your daughter something sweet.

Growing up my father worked very long hours to provide for our family. He mostly worked in workshops, working with metal and glass molds. This was not a glamorous job as you can imagine, however, he never failed to show up to work on even when he was sick. During this time he also went to college twice! A full time job of 40+ hours a week, full time school schedule and would never except anything less than Dean's List from himself. Now my father did not have time to play tea parties with me and he apologized once to me for not doing more with me growing up. Even though he didn't play pretend or sat through dull tea parties, I do have a couple memories playing hind and seek with my brother and I. And I my most precious moments were sitting on his lap in his recliner watching movies. 

Another father figure in my life was my uncle. He and my father were rather close even though they were not related by blood, but by marriage. A marriage that did not work out mind you. So for years they stayed close and were there for each other. My uncle and my dad worked in the same shop and would hang out often. One thing they together was talk. A lot. And when grew old he and my aunt would sit and talk with me. Something that always sticks in my mind is my uncle saying, "well let me play devil's advocate for a minute." 

My mother met a man and was with this man for 10+ years and in that time I adopted him as anther father figure in my life. Meeting him later in my teens I liked him because he actually made time for my brother and I.  The other men that mother had dated never seemed to bother with my brother and I. Did they pick us up from school when asked? Yes. But they didn't make plans with us. My stepfather took my brother and I to the movies often without my mother. She didn't care for the movies we liked. He also took us to the library. Which was humorous because he didn't like to read. He and my mother would make popcorn and we would have movie nights. I even wrestled with him. He was an ornery man with love for 2 teenagers that were not his own children. I still call him and visit him when I get the chance. 

Now that you've read all this you should be able to guess what my husband is like, right? I met my husband in my senior year of high school. We were both each other's firsts and we have been together for over 9 years now. When we first started dating my husband was the class clown. I loved his humor and the positive energy that radiated off of him. He is also a very hard worker. At the age of 25 he is a market manager doing sales and marketing. 

My husband reminds me of my dad, my uncle, and my stepfather. He works pretty much everyday, cares for his team and works even when we are home. Even though he is a manager now he still continues to research and network with others to learn as much as possible. Understanding that even though he is the boss he doesn't know everything and there is always something to learn to make himself a better leader. 

My husband is also extremely ornery. There are times where his humor doesn't have an off switch. He enjoys making others laugh. There have been times when I'm trying to argue with him and he has one liners that derail me, so I end up smiling while I'm trying to be serious and angry. He is extremely honest and cares for people in a way that when I met him most teenage boys did not. 

When my husband works day after day, for hours and hours and talks to me about someday retiring without worry, he reminds me of my father. When my husband jokes with me and says he's a stud and I say,"Who told you that?" He grins at me and says, "The list would be shorter of who didn't tell me that." He reminds my of my stepdad. When my husband is dealing with an unreasonable person, he tries to stay calm and see it from their point of view. Which reminds me of my uncle.

So my thoughts when I saw that quote on Facebook was immediately how I look at my husband on a daily basis and see the men that were in my life growing up. This is just my opinion, but I feel that a little girl takes a lot from those around her growing. And based on how those people act is how she will treat others as well as how she will have others treat her.

So men and Dad's out there raising a little girl or the next teenage boy, you should probably check your actions. Not to say everyone can stay calm and collected at all times. But there is a point when you are fighting with your wife, arguing with the neighbor, or complaining about going to work when others have things handed to them that you must look at your child and think what are they taking away from my attitude right now. Will this help them to be a better person when they're an adult or will they struggle like I have struggled? Do I want my daughter to date someone like me or have my son treat a young lady like I treat his mother? If the answer to these questions is."YES." Then awesome. Both of my Dad's like my husband and they are pretty funny when they are all hanging out with each other. Ornery men seem to have a lot to talk about. 

Thanks for Reading 

My 

Thoughts 

& 

I Hope you Have 

Sweeter Day

than

Yesterday!