Dwell or Swell

Esteem

I've been down in the dumps guys! I need a pick me up. Usually yoga and some friend time can get me back on track. This time I just feel like I'm on a roll a coaster. While scrolling through Pinterest I came across this artwork and immediately felt connected to it. Sad? Yes, but even as an adult we still have self esteem issues. They just tend to warp into other things. Instead of being self conscious about your body you are always judging your career or material items like cars, and other things based on those around you. Instead of focusing on building yourself, you're too busy watching someone else climb to new heights, through their career or some grand adventure. There's nothing wrong with this, we all do it. The trick is not to fall into it for years.

My self esteem issues fluctuate. There are times when I am disappointed in my career and other times I am thankful for the people I have met along the way and know I wouldn't have met them otherwise. Or some of the things I have experienced. This week's issues are the things people say to me.

Everyone get's their feelings hurt. That's normal. Maybe you get a little embarrassed but you learn from your mistakes. Sometimes we can't help who we are though. Or the people doing the talking don't realize what they are saying. My own personal issue is dwelling. I like to repeat what people say to me over and over again in my head. My mind manipulates what they say and maximizes it, putting more meaning into their words. They do not come right out and tell me they hate me, but that is what I hear. Angry words said aloud turn into sad thoughts and memories later.

My husband and I are different in many ways. I dwell on things and he likes to keep the past in the past. I am my own worst enemy. In truth, we all are. We all can make anything happen if we would only get out of our own way. Fear is a common self esteem factor. What if that? What if this? I stop and look both ways. My husband glances left and right and jumps. I think that's why we do so well together. Because I can fester and dwell, repeating things in my head again and again, finally tell my husband how I heard it and what it has done to me mentally and he can turn around and say screw them and move on. He shrugs it off, tells me what I need to hear and we keep going.

But the words are still in my head. The tone in which it was said is still warm from the hot poker it was imprinted with. They still sting my eyes when I think of them.

How am I going to solve my slump?

1) Remember that I can not change those around me. They will always be who they are no matter how much I try to change for them.

2) Remember that the things they say aren't who I am.

3) Remember that I am stronger than their words.

4) Remember they are just words meant in that moment and they do not reflect the person as a whole.

5) Remember that I am who I am and that is good enough for me.

On that last note, even though I am in a slump, I should always want to grow as a person. That is what keeps us moving forward. Though someone may say things to drag me down, I know that only I can lift myself up. If you are feeling negative today or just want a little motivation for the week, I inserted a video of one of my favorite speakers. Les Brown. He will tell you how it is. He's honest, but he will get your thoughts turning in another direction. That's where I want to be today. We're not turning around looking at what happened yesterday, the week before or last month. We're moving forward. 

As always 

Thanks for Reading 

Hope you have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday

BFF in Vacationland

Just Arrived!

July 16, I left the Boston Airport by bus to head back home. The ride there was a little sad but good to spend with a dear friend of mine. We talked about when we were younger, some of the silly things we did together, and some of hardships we went through.

She came to visit Maine all the way from El Paso, Texas. Her trip here was long and tiring, but she reassured me several times it was worth it. We went hiking on Black Cap mountain trail in New Hampshire. Went to Old Orchard Beach and got toasted in the sun. I feel like someone forgot about me in the oven. We waded out in the streams of Saco River. Meditated at the Maine Yoga Festival. Saw my niece's play and had to much seafood. It was amazing having my best friend here with me. I couldn't wait to show her how beautiful Maine is.

Lighthouse

Antiquing

Hiking

Pine Point Beach

Sitting on the bus to go back home I felt foolish for having spent 50 dollars to sit on a bus to and from the airport in one day, but my heart says it was totally worth it. To see her face for those few hours more. To eat lunch together one more time. To talk about future visits.

The time flew by to fast. The sandwich I had been eating was gone, the bus was pulling up and the driver stepping out to shout, “Portland, ME!”

One last hug. One last kiss. And then she's waving to me as the bus drives away. My heart, something feels wrong. Something is missing. It hurts. It's uncomfortable. I think she took a piece of me with her. I'm on the bus, alone. Pretty sure snot is running down my face. I don't care. I can feel the piece of my soul that is missing. I can remember it's laugh and it's smile. I'm remembering that one last hug. It wasn't enough.

You see my best friend is dear to me, she has known me all my life. She taught me that positivity is what makes everything beautiful. She taught me yoga and meditation is not only good for a peaceful life but can be fun as well. That God loves me for me. That books are fun and crocheting is a healthy addiction. That saving money is the goal but spending it on “together activities” is worth the time and the penny pinching. She taught me that love is not about how much you spend on another person but how much quality time you spend with that person.

This woman is the first person I call when something goes wrong. She's the first to hear when I'm excited. She lives so far away and yet she manages to hold so much love in her words. You see this woman, my best friend, is my mommy.

I just wanted to thank you for coming to visit me. I'm sorry it wasn't a lot of time. I'm sorry I had to work while you were here. But for me, it was perfect, just to see your face, that smile and hear you laugh. To feel your hugs and here you call me Tweetie Pie. I love you Mom.

~ Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday ~

Love Letters?

Should I be writing Love Letters to a married woman?

Let me explain. Recently a woman I am close with wrote me a letter, ultimately saying goodbye and that she could not take the struggle any longer. Her marriage has been rocky for several years now, she is raising a child that is not her own, she works long hours, and barely gets by on bills. Life was getting rough and her partner who is supposed to be a team player rooting for her, had stopped caring or participating. She had become a one woman team with a room mate who complained that the team wasn't making any goals.

The letter she wrote me was heart breaking. She was reaching out to me, not asking for help, but just letting me know she was done. She wanted someone to know that she had tried, and she wasn't giving up, but quitting the team altogether.

The letter through me. I didn't know what to say or how to fix the problem. The next few days it was stuck on my mind and I couldn't shake the feeling. I had a morning off from work and decided to stop into a shopping store. Passing by a rack, I saw shirts at fairly decent prices. Excited I started trying stuff on and by the end of my shopping spree, I only had one shirt in my shopping bag and it wasn't for me. In the end I bought my friend a shirt and some chocolate. When I got to her work place I just assumed I would get a sticky note and write her name on it. Instead I ended up with computer paper and a letter that made me cry.

I explained the shirt was beautiful just like her soul. And the chocolate was rich, just like her heart is rich with love. I spoke of her own inner strength. That it was deep within her and she could pull it forward on her own.

I thought writing the letter would make me feel like I was paying it forward. Make me happy and fuzzy inside. But as I wrote words of encouragement and strength, I became more saddened by each word. Was this my job? My responsibility? Perhaps as a friend, yes giving a loving word of advise and a small gift to bring joy for a moment. But as I finished up the letter I felt more and more like I was doing the man's job. Isn't your husband supposed to say he is sorry and send you flowers? Isn't he supposed to show up to your work and take you to lunch asking for forgiveness. Why was I the one to give her strength and hope, when I am not the one married to her? I'm not apart of the team. I'm not the coach or even the water-boy. If anything I may be a cheerleader, only standing on the side lines watching as the team attempts to make a goal happen.

In the end, it made her day, thanking me for my thoughts and gestures. How is her marriage? Still on the rocks. How is her job? Still long and hard labor. How are her bills? Still living a paycheck at a time. But for a moment she had a glow about her and in the end that is all that matters. That a small bit of hope was restored.

Have a Sweeter Day Than Yesterday  

Maine Yoga Fest (Day 2)

When I first bought my ticket for the MYF I lived in South Portland, maybe 15 minutes away. Now that I moved I am now 50 minutes away. So it was an early morning for my husband. We both got ready and he drove into town and then went to work. When he dropped me off I was maybe an hour early, my volunteer shift didn't start until 10:30. I found Terri Patterson.

Volunteer: My assignment I volunteered for was to assist vendor village. I admit my original thought was that I would check them in, but helping each of the vendors actually set up their tents was pretty cool. Not only did I learn how to set up a tent, but I got to see everything before it was laid out all pretty. I have a thing for setting up events and placement since I set up candy buffet for Candy Craze. Seeing it like a puzzle and watching as everything came together was really neat. And I met soooo many people.

The pamphlet that they had out, Map & Sponsors

Class Schedule

Vendor Village: there were so many different vendors! There were bigger names that I'm sure you have heard of like LL Bean and then some small names I had never heard of before like Garbage to Garden. In between helping put up tents and unloading products I saw jewelry, clothing, yogibo chairs, Bei Capelli salon braiding hair and even rock climbing. Another one of my favorite things to do . . . shopping. Every chance I got I was looking as I walked past to see if I found anything I couldn't live without. And apparently it ended up there's was a lot I couldn't live with out. However, I had to work! When I was doing anything and I walked past a vendor I asked if they needed help and let them know all they had to do was ask, that's what I was there for. Another thing I like to do, help others. I've actually read that people who help others are happier. It works for me!

 

 

 

 


People: Terri, volunteer coordinator. She was awesome! There was a lot to do and as you know nothing really goes as planned. She was on top of it, juggling and placing volunteers where needed and never stopping. Sarah, MYF team member was amazing too. She helped set up and show instructors where their classrooms were and even took time to talk to me about finding passion in teaching others. I also worked along side other volunteers. Everyone was friendly and hardworking. I also saw my new friend from the Yoga Rave the night before doing slack line Yoga!

Ball Rolling Yoga: So my last assignment as a MYF volunteer I helped check in students for a Yamuna Body Rolling Yoga class taught by Maura Reminga the the Willard Beach Studio . Before arriving for the class I was told I could also attend the class if I wanted after helping the instructor with set and anything else they needed. I have to admit I didn't like rolling on the ball at first. The ball was filled with air and did not have a lot of give. And for such a small ball it felt like it hurt more than anything. All the positions were super slow, sitting in one position, then moving every so slightly up, so the ball would go up your backside, then slowly up your back. Even though it was necessary to be slow so you wouldn't hurt yourself, I couldn't wait for the class to be over. We did one side which seemed like forever. Then the instructor had us lie down and asked who our right side felt compared to our left which we hadn't done yet. I was shocked. My right side felt like I'd gotten a deep tissue message. It was warm and loose. I had an Ah-ha moment. Though it was a little painful or uncomfortable I can definitely appreciate ball rolling yoga. Need a deep tissue message? Do it yourself!

Right after the Ball Rolling Yoga class I helped the other class set up and was on my way to see who else needed help, when my husband called. Had to go! He was my ride home. Over all another fantastic day. It was just go go in the morning and by the evening I was all relaxed. I only had one more day of the MYF to go. Which is when all my classes were scheduled for. Super pumped for the next day I hopped in the car for the ride home, wondering why is this only one day a year!?

As always thanks for reading. 

Tune in next time and check out Day 3 of the 2015 MYF

Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday! 

Be Kind

Here we go! Positive thought of the week!


Going through my twitter I came across this article on Daily Cup of Yoga . The article opens with a quote from Aldous Huxley who was a famous author of novels, articles and Hollywood screenplays. He was asked at a lecture he was giving, "what is the most effective technique for transforming their life?" After all his years of research his answer was, "just be a little kinder."

I love that! The article goes on to say there are 3 ways that kindness changes your health and your own growth as a person.

1) Kindness Heals - being a positive person is healthy! When you are angry and hold grudges, you are putting a lot of effort into that festering feeling. You let those dark feelings build up and they continue to hold you down. When you learn to forgive and let go, your body also lets go of tension. Have you ever been angry at your boss for something and every day you came into work your stomach or head hurt immediately? Nothing those days went right? Everything you heard irritated you? Your stomach will eventually make you more than sick, maybe you'll end up with an ulcer. Stop letting things get to you. Once you learn to let things go your body will relax as well. Remember that everyone is human just like you.

2) Successful People are Kind - the article mentions that success isn't always about money. Success is different for different people. But those who have gone though miserable times and overcame them want to share that wealth of positivity and victory. The only example I can think of right now is an alcoholic who lost everything and through years of work staying sober, keeping a job, building relationships they lost, and having pride in what they of gained now see others who are struggling and want reach out to coach and be that person's sponsor. You can be a sponsor to someone. It's called being a mentor. Finding those who want to be where you are. Maybe you're financially sound or you've lost weight. That is success, Congratulations! There are those around you who are not where you are, they are struggling. Help those who need you in their life and see the greatness that will spread around you.

3)  Kindness Brings Meaning to Our Lives - it's true! By changing your every daily attitude, you'll be healthier. Mind and body. Then with your mind clear, you make decisions that are thought out and move you forward. Then you reach a mile stone in your life that shows you, you can do anything you set your mind to! After reaching one goal, your on to the next and someone near you is struggling and you take them along for the ride. They learn from you and your mistakes, your challenges, and your victories. They reach a goal of theirs and they help someone who is around them. You may never be on television for your great deeds, but you will continue to grow as a person. And in turn you will see those around you grow. Those who don't always get along will see you different. They might not like you, but they will respect your drive, passion, and positive thinking.

So the positive thought for this week is to be nice to others, which will end up being a healthy choice that is pretty good to yourself. Don't let dark thoughts fester and keep you back from your potential. Be nice to those who you don't think deserve it as well as those who desperately need it. Once you start change your actions, those around you will see the difference and things will start to happen you never imagined.  

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Have a Sweeter Day Than Yesterday

Be Happy

Being positive isn't always easy. It should be and it can be, but you have to work at it. Work at being Positive? Yep. If you see or speak with a highly active and motivated person, you might wonder how are they always so excited and ready to take on everything. First thing you must know is that that isn't 24/7. They have bad days too, so don't get discouraged. Second thing you need to know is that it took that highly positive person a lot of time and work to keep that positive go-to attitude.

If you don't already know I am a worrier and I tend to dwell on things I can't change. Or I used to, a lot. While working at a store called Candy Craze I worked under a woman who tried her very best to solve every issue with fairness and with a positive outcome. Which helped me see that even though things can get bad you just need to get through them, learn from them, and solve them with a smile. Working with my old boss definitely changed my way of thinking, not only in the workplace but in my everyday life. 

Anyway, in my most recent job I am in charge of a couple business Facebooks and other social media networking. Part of my job is to find motivational entrepreneur articles to post on the business websites. While going through my typical sources I came across this list called 39 Habits of Extremely Happy People. I love the idea of the list and out of 39 here are my favorites. 

2. They have nice, positive things to say about others and do not gossip. 

When you say positive things about people you are thinking positive already plus whoever you're speaking to will think of you in a better light. So it's a great starting point when trying to change your outlook on things. If you are speaking ill of others, your thoughts are dark and will continue in that direction. 

5. They don't rehash the bad things that have happened to them. 

The past is the past. You can't go back and change it, so learn from it and move on. Constantly thinking about bad things that happened will make for a bad day and can keep taking up your time. Time you could be using to for the present. 

6. They know that another person won't increase their happiness.

People who look to others to make themselves happy, tend to not only be disappointed in those people they depend on but of course end up not very happy. You need to realize you make your own happiness. Looking more to hobbies to keep yourself busy, doing things you enjoy, or just taking time to find something that relaxes you and centers you. Looking to others to always cheer you up and keep your attitude in check will leave you always waiting. 

12. They smile and laugh a lot.

My husband is an extremely optimistic person. Always thinking of clever ways to help his team. One of his natural charms is his humor. When he tells me about his morning with his team I always end up asking if he even got any work done. You see my husband jokes a lot. But his team is loyal, positive, and they help each as well as believe in themselves. I think it's because their boss is smart but extremely silly and keeps them laughing. When talking to people try to smile more. Smiling and laughter is a medicine that's been around for years. 

15. They donate their time, energy, and money selflessly.

Happy people tend to see those around them struggling and want to spread their great fortune. Even if you are not at your best donating your time to someone can make a change. You may be in a bad mood, but you just made someone's day and that person smiles at you and thanks you. You know you're going to smile back. By helping those around you are creating a positive reaction that will spread, very similar to Pay It Forward. And usually what goes around comes around. By you helping that person out, you set into motion a chain reaction. It may not happen immediately, but you have done something good which will stir something inside of you. 

So if you are having trouble seeing the rainbow in the rain, you aren't looking hard enough. Stop focusing on the rain or how soaking wet you are. Focus on the positives. You're breathing, your belly is full, or maybe that you are about to get into your car and drive home where clean clothes are. And when you get there smile that you made it home! Smile when the clouds clear and you do see the colors of the rainbow. It doesn't matter that you got wet, what matters is that you made it though thinking of something better and knowing you were going to find that something better. Be grateful for what you have and who you are. And remember to share your happiness and wealth with others, because only good things come from great acts!

Thanks for Reading  My Thoughts 

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Hoping You Have  A 

Sweeter Day than Yesterday!