My Father's House

My church gathered together to have a Workday. One day where we all clean and organize the church. Rooms that have been collecting donated books and clothes. Dusting lamps, painting walls, and washing the windows. Moving the chairs and vacuuming. And after the work was done, we all ate a big meal together and even had pie!

While I was cleaning I couldn't help but think of my chores when I lived at home as a teenager. Making sure my bed was made, room picked up, and the dreaded spring cleaning the whole family would have to partake in every year. This reminded me so much of being like a child with all my siblings running around each of us with our assigned job to do.

Our Pastor explained that the work day was necessary due to Thanksgiving coming up. And since we plan on inviting company to the church to share in a big Thanksgiving meal, what do you usually do when one invites guests to one's home? Clean! Pastor Scott also wanted us to understand that the cleaning wasn't just to get the church some free labor, but a way for us to connect with one another that we normal wouldn't. He explained that as a family we only see each other one day a week and really only speak to each other for a few quick minutes before service starts. A few minutes isn't really long enough for you to get to know anyone. A quick, "Hello, how are you?" Won't tell you that that person is really struggling or really hurt or even if they have had wonderful news.  

This never occurs to us on a daily basis. Saying hello to someone every day who gets coffee at your coffee shop is a nice gesture, however, you never really get to know the person and what their life it like. Where as a family knows everything about each other. Who's grounded, who gets to go to the movies, who is has to write a three page essay or give a speech at work.

So coming back to scrubbing church window sills, moving furniture and painting walls; I can't help but notice that Pastor Scott was right. One woman's arm was in a sling, she might have to have surgery, a man had to take a seat because of his low blood sugar, another woman explained she was uncomfortable with having her picture taken and posted online. As I cleaned I kept thinking about being a child and cleaning my parents' and thinking how fitting that I would clean my Father's house as well. Not only do I come and visit him on a weekly basis but I visit with my siblings too, and now we have done our chores and readied the house for visitors!

I'm excited for the Thanksgiving Dinner my church is hosting and even more that I received the visual that God is more of a Father figure  to me in many other ways now. Not just because I trust in him to look out for me as a father would his child, but because I truly am his child and my siblings and I got together and cleaned his house. We respect our parent enough to meet and work together and in turn show love for one another as well.

Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday

Dwell or Swell

Esteem

I've been down in the dumps guys! I need a pick me up. Usually yoga and some friend time can get me back on track. This time I just feel like I'm on a roll a coaster. While scrolling through Pinterest I came across this artwork and immediately felt connected to it. Sad? Yes, but even as an adult we still have self esteem issues. They just tend to warp into other things. Instead of being self conscious about your body you are always judging your career or material items like cars, and other things based on those around you. Instead of focusing on building yourself, you're too busy watching someone else climb to new heights, through their career or some grand adventure. There's nothing wrong with this, we all do it. The trick is not to fall into it for years.

My self esteem issues fluctuate. There are times when I am disappointed in my career and other times I am thankful for the people I have met along the way and know I wouldn't have met them otherwise. Or some of the things I have experienced. This week's issues are the things people say to me.

Everyone get's their feelings hurt. That's normal. Maybe you get a little embarrassed but you learn from your mistakes. Sometimes we can't help who we are though. Or the people doing the talking don't realize what they are saying. My own personal issue is dwelling. I like to repeat what people say to me over and over again in my head. My mind manipulates what they say and maximizes it, putting more meaning into their words. They do not come right out and tell me they hate me, but that is what I hear. Angry words said aloud turn into sad thoughts and memories later.

My husband and I are different in many ways. I dwell on things and he likes to keep the past in the past. I am my own worst enemy. In truth, we all are. We all can make anything happen if we would only get out of our own way. Fear is a common self esteem factor. What if that? What if this? I stop and look both ways. My husband glances left and right and jumps. I think that's why we do so well together. Because I can fester and dwell, repeating things in my head again and again, finally tell my husband how I heard it and what it has done to me mentally and he can turn around and say screw them and move on. He shrugs it off, tells me what I need to hear and we keep going.

But the words are still in my head. The tone in which it was said is still warm from the hot poker it was imprinted with. They still sting my eyes when I think of them.

How am I going to solve my slump?

1) Remember that I can not change those around me. They will always be who they are no matter how much I try to change for them.

2) Remember that the things they say aren't who I am.

3) Remember that I am stronger than their words.

4) Remember they are just words meant in that moment and they do not reflect the person as a whole.

5) Remember that I am who I am and that is good enough for me.

On that last note, even though I am in a slump, I should always want to grow as a person. That is what keeps us moving forward. Though someone may say things to drag me down, I know that only I can lift myself up. If you are feeling negative today or just want a little motivation for the week, I inserted a video of one of my favorite speakers. Les Brown. He will tell you how it is. He's honest, but he will get your thoughts turning in another direction. That's where I want to be today. We're not turning around looking at what happened yesterday, the week before or last month. We're moving forward. 

As always 

Thanks for Reading 

Hope you have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday

Blue Lipstick?

So this brings back memories! I was at the dollar store yesterday and found some matte blue lipstick. I got super excited because usually funky color lipsticks are color changing for kids. This one however was solid blue matte. I immediately wanted it. While holding in my hand trying to contain my excitement I thought about where I would where it to and when. And then it suddenly occurred to me probably only on Halloween. My elation deflated. I haven't worn blue lipstick since high school.

I remember every morning getting up super early, applying my lipstick, spraying my hair with blue hair spray, wearing fish net hose, combat boots, and a mini skirt. I remember taking the bus to school every morning, being in class, walking the halls, and going to football games and having a confidence I no longer possess. I know now that it was a false sort of confidence, but I do miss the sense of bravery I received from it.

You see I was very much an average girl in all things. Average hair, not brown, not blonde but some sort of color that could be described as dirty blonde. I was pale as a ghost or pink, never the rich tan color most teen girls strived for back then. No curves what to speak of, quite literally a walking stick, and bullied quite a bit and teased I was anorexic. Far from it, my favorite past time is eating. Pizza, Chinese and Ice Cream were my basic food groups. Judged for my cheery attitude was to hyper and weird. Never had a boyfriend til I was 16 and that didn't last long. I would be almost 19 before my second boyfriend, who for some reason married me and is still with me today.

I am a very strong believer on things happen for a reason. One day I wanted to play around with my make-up and get a more purple color of lipstick, not having the right shades I added blue eye shadow to a concoction. The result? Not purple, but a light colored blue. I liked it and went with it. My favorite color quickly changed from pink to blue and has stayed that way. I loved the fantasy look. Fairy's, witches, dragons. I loved the idea and as a result I liked the looks I received. People would stare and I didn't care that they thought I was a freak. Because I was freak on my OWN terms. Not theirs. No longer being snickered at that I was too skinny and alien, no longer told that I was weird because I was weird, didn't have a boyfriend or that I was still a virgin. I was the girl in the blue lipstick.

I was lucky enough to have friends that didn't care about my phase at all. They stuck around all through high school and some I still speak to today. I think they knew me and that I needed an outlet. I honestly can say not one friend even asked why blue? Just one day it was just who I was. It does make me sad though, I literally have no pictures of those 2 years. There are a few pictures of me glaring at the camera without my disguise, which I just found annoying that anyone would want a picture of me in the first place. So ununique. My parents and loved me, told me I was beautiful, but that was their job. Of course they think their child is wonderful. I just think all the snickering fed into my brain and I fell for the peer pressure, just like all teens do.

During this time though, I feel I really learned about relationships just by watching the mistakes of teens around me. Teen pregnancy did not pass by our school. Teen relationships were as fickle as they are today. And I learned that even though I was a blue freak, some boys still looked my way and even pursued me. I learned that you could be odd and boys will still try to see under your skirt. Hormones are hormones after all. And I wanted something that was going to last.

At some point before my senior year, I stopped wearing my blue lipstick that gave me confidence. I stopped wearing my mini skirts, fishnet tights, and corsets that made me feel sexy and gave me some sort of illusion of shape. I stopped wearing my lace up combat boots that made me feel strong. I stopped spraying my hair blue, no longer hiding my overwhelmingly average hair. It started out as time, I needed more time for sleep and studying. And then it suddenly became how do I possibly do neutrals? Light brown eye shadows and slightly tinted pink lip gloss. All of a sudden I wanted to be average and blend it. Had college on my mind. Work , study, focus and then my husband came along. A teen boy that was relentless. Just moved and new to our school, he had tons of energy and tried is hardest to be positive about his new home 1,900 miles away from his old one and friends. I wasn't sure at first but he was patient and willing to wait around.

What does my marriage have to do with blue lipstick. Not sure exactly. I just know that for two years I was growing into who I was and who I wanted to be and who I wanted to share myself with. Two years is a long time to be with oneself and I think it helped me really focus on me. Most teens were trying to please everyone and have adult relationships, while I was trying to stick out and be a strangling among all the humans. I wanted to be different for me and only me. I know adults didn't like it and I may have offended students at school with my choice of clothes and color scheme, but in the end I grew out of my rebel phase and into who I am today.

1) I guess my positive thoughts to share are don't let anyone bully you into changing who are and what you want to be.

2) Understand yourself and what you want out of life.

3) Don't rush into a relationship because you are lonely and think it's not normal to be on your own.

4) Your are a unique individual! There is no one like you, literally.

~ Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday ~    

The Empowerment Plan

It started out as a project for a college class. Instructed to design and make something that would fill a need, Veronica Scott walked into a homeless shelter to go to a direct source. She spoke with homeless people and asked them what they needed most. Most became anger by the the question, however, a few sat down and tossed some ideas. And that was when Veronica went home to work in her basement and design a coat that would keep warmth, keep out rain, and be able to expand into a sleeping bag. While researching the company I found the creator had been invited to do a Ted Talk! And as you know I love Ted Talks! For such a young person she has been able to do so much.

Max's Story  how The Empowerment Plan succeeded in changing lives.Here is an article about a woman who was finally released from prison and how Veronica's project did more than just keep one person warm. Veronica's open heart has not only created a coat that is functional but has actually succeeded in giving people lives back. With a steady job, a person can have a place to live and food in their belly.

Most of us see a homeless person and the street and judge them for their actions that led them there. This judgement is leads nowhere. Not only does it keep people on the streets but it shows us who we really are, selfish and small minded. We can't see past our noses. Understandable that we all have issues as well, but hearing Veronica's Empowerment Plan and how it creates jobs as well as helps the homeless, I can't help but be in awe of her natural brain process. Of course if you watch the video that introduced me to this fantastic idea, you'll see that everything just happened by chance. Even so, the idea and the process fascinates me. My hope is one day to meet Veronica in person and help in some small way. After all a leader who can be so young and so selfless is someone I wish to be near.

The Empowerment Plan for more information, this is their direct site.

like them on Facebook


As always thank you for reading and I hope this motivated you to do something or create something for someone in need. If you know someone who could use a Empowerment Coat, please look up and see if it can be delivered to your area and I will pay for half of it. I love this idea and would like to spread this project worldwide.

Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday 

Pizza Sex Metaphor

Ted Talks:Al Vernacchino

I love Ted Talks! I found them when looking for entrepreneur advice. There are a great deal of Ted Talks that are leadership and business influential. I honestly don't remember my first Ted Talks experience was, but I know I quickly became addicted to them. I love the thoughts and ideas the speakers bring to each of their speeches. They are all extremely different from each, none are alike. I've watched some on self esteem, on entrepreneurship, and now I've seen one on a new metaphor model for sex.

These talks are fascinating and I couldn't help but smile throughout the video. But there were other parts where I went into deep thought, remembering high school and being a confused teen. The speaker, Al Vernacchio, goes over a comparison of the typical Baseball model for sex and his own Pizza metaphor. I remember the boys talking in the halls Monday mornings, "Did you score, man?" I remember hearing girls even speak about the bases, "Really, you let him get to second base?" But there was something that hit me when the speaker claimed the Baseball metaphor implies a competition. Sports are competitive. If our sex metaphor is based off of a sport doesn't that imply that it is a competition as well? Maybe not right away, but for those who are struggling teens trying to be adults, sex suddenly becomes a goal that is a must reach because someone is going to beat you to it.

The speaker talks of how Baseball is a sport, which in some cases someone who is not extremely athletic can already feel singled out. And how talking about it like a sport is pushing teens to think of it as a goal or win once achieved intercourse. Creating a bad taste in some mouths while in other's a taste of how behind am I than everyone else?

The new model or metaphor for Sex should be Pizza the speaker suggests, because everyone loves pizza but you're not always in the mood for it. Perfect! All of a sudden sex isn't a must or goal, it has a time and a place. Pizza is when you are hungry, when you're ready. It's delicious and the toppings change based on the person you are dining with. No more First Base, Second and Third. Now it can be what everyone is comfortable with, and when.

I loved this talk and the idea of it. I plan on teaching it to my kids if and when I have any. The idea is simple and yet it could change a the way teens think about sex. I imagined myself as teen and thinking about the Pizza Metaphor, not only do I think I would have laughed hearing it, but I think I would have been more comfortable with idea of it. Teens are still going to talk about sex, they are still going to pressure one another, and they are still going to have it before they are ready. But the idea of taking your time about it. Especially with someone who shares your likes and dislikes, which also takes time to learn.

What do you think of this new Sex Metaphor? Do you would have thought about sex differently growing up?

Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday

Goals

So I'm lost. Not going to lie, I'm not sure where I should go from here. My last blog was about being stressed. This one is about understanding there are things you can't change and things you can. Back to being lost. I'm kinda in a rut with my so called career and sometimes I want something different, however, when it comes to sitting down and trying to find out what that something different is, I draw a blank. So what do you do when you're not sure what the big picture is, start small and set some goals!

Goals: the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. 

synonyms:

objective, aim, end, target, design, intention, intent, plan, purpose

I sat down and tried to think of all the things I wanted to accomplish. I went so far as to write the ones I thought were impossible to see what they looked like on paper. Were they really that impossible? Was there something else on my list that might?

Goals in NO Specific Order:
1) Own a Bed and Breakfast or Event Center
2) Write on my blog once a week - consistently
3) Take Dance lessons with my husband; example Latin Dance
4) Take a Yoga Teaching Training Course
5) Take a Social Media Branding course
6) Start reading novels regularly again
7) Buy a house
8) Start a family
9) Become an enlightenment teacher
10) Be involved in church

So I must admit, I started this list back in November. In fact I started writing this blog posting back in November. Things have changed a little. Life has slowed a bit. For about two months I had 3 part time jobs. I juggled them all through Christmas, mostly for the money and also because I wasn't sure which job was for me. Finally making a decision I found a place that is near wear I live now and I love the people that I work with.

I even managed to reach a couple of my goals. Now in a small book club, I'm reading more and actually have people to talk about the books. I'm involved in a church and help with some of their social media outlets. My husband and I went dancing! I found a Salsa group that meets every 3rd Saturday. My husband actually had fun and we are going to try to go more often.

The more goals I reach the more want to reach my others. They will probably change. I may take some away and add others. But for now here's to moving forward. Trying to reach goals can be difficult. A lot of people get lost when trying to reach the big goals and forget about the little goals that can either lead to great opportunities or just even small victories. For help on goal reaching I found a couple of articles that may help.

6 Ways to Achieve Any Goal

How to Reach Your Goals 11 Steps

Top 10 Reasons Why People Don't Reach Their Goals

One of these tips is telling other people about your goals. Kind of like when trying to lose weight or starting a work out challenge. Having people hold you accountable for your goals and of course having others cheer you on. Hope this post motivates you to to start really thinking about what you want out of your life. I'd love to see your goals!

Thanks for reading. 

Have A Sweeter Day than Yesterday!

Relax!

Busy, busy, busy! I have been all over the place. We got settled into our new home and then work and life happened. Been trying to get some sort of schedule down. For the past couple months we have gone through a lot of ups and downs. Been under quite a bit of stress lately. Because of all the stuff going on, I have been having trouble sleeping. And if you have trouble sleeping you know, the next is really hard on your body and your mind.

One night I was doing my usual, worrying about things I couldn't change, and I caught myself wondering why I was wasting all this time instead of getting my beauty sleep. Have you ever tried to force yourself not to think? It's a little difficult.

The next day I made a point to look up yoga videos and start making a plan on yoga and mediation. I needed to learn to not think and get a part of day where I could recharge. Check out this article on basic ways to Recharge your body and your mind. I did a little of both. Being active or physical as well as meditation.

Once I found a yoga video that I felt would be at the pace I wanted I got settled in and pushed play. After a few poses I found, I wasn't listening to the instructor but still in my head worrying and just following the yogi's moves. Frustrated I thought back to my Maine Yoga Fest weekend. I had so much fun and the rest of the week I felt amazing and happy. I tried thinking of those couple of days and what maybe I needed to add to my routine. And then it came to me, music. When I was in my yoga classes, they would play music in the background, calming tones without lyrics. Where do you find music for yoga for free? YouTube! Well, that's where I found mine.

I now have my favorites. Following several channels and returning to the videos that I felt the most relaxed and comfortable listening to. The one above is for when I'm doing yoga or when I just need 5 or 10 minutes of silence in my head. I love it when I'm working and I just need to concentrate or just dealt with an unpleasant person. The customer is always right ya know! So it's just nice to center myself and get back into a neutral mood.

The videos are all different lengths. They start out at 3 hours but some are as long as 8 hours long. The one above I play right before I go to bed. Placing my phone near my pillow, I play the video and pray. I start out asking for help with everything going on and what I feel I can't handle. Once I feel that it's going into complaining mode, I start thanking God for the things I do have and things I can do. At some point I fall asleep.

Now these videos, yoga, and praying has worked for me, but it's understandable that it may not work for you. Some steps to figure out what does? Check out the link above titled Recharge and pick out a couple to try. Do them for a week and be consistent. A certain time every day or after a particular unpleasant event. Figure out which one works best for you. Your body isn't meant to continuously take on stress. That's why we are able to laugh or cry. We have breaking points that help us let go of everything all at once. Or we have some breaks from pain with a smile or giggle. Don't let stress hold you down. Take the time every day to push Reset. Your mind and body will thank you. You'll be more adaptable to your situations. You'll be more productive. And you'll be happier.

Thanks for Reading! 

Have a Sweeter Day Than Yesterday