Pizza Sex Metaphor

Ted Talks:Al Vernacchino

I love Ted Talks! I found them when looking for entrepreneur advice. There are a great deal of Ted Talks that are leadership and business influential. I honestly don't remember my first Ted Talks experience was, but I know I quickly became addicted to them. I love the thoughts and ideas the speakers bring to each of their speeches. They are all extremely different from each, none are alike. I've watched some on self esteem, on entrepreneurship, and now I've seen one on a new metaphor model for sex.

These talks are fascinating and I couldn't help but smile throughout the video. But there were other parts where I went into deep thought, remembering high school and being a confused teen. The speaker, Al Vernacchio, goes over a comparison of the typical Baseball model for sex and his own Pizza metaphor. I remember the boys talking in the halls Monday mornings, "Did you score, man?" I remember hearing girls even speak about the bases, "Really, you let him get to second base?" But there was something that hit me when the speaker claimed the Baseball metaphor implies a competition. Sports are competitive. If our sex metaphor is based off of a sport doesn't that imply that it is a competition as well? Maybe not right away, but for those who are struggling teens trying to be adults, sex suddenly becomes a goal that is a must reach because someone is going to beat you to it.

The speaker talks of how Baseball is a sport, which in some cases someone who is not extremely athletic can already feel singled out. And how talking about it like a sport is pushing teens to think of it as a goal or win once achieved intercourse. Creating a bad taste in some mouths while in other's a taste of how behind am I than everyone else?

The new model or metaphor for Sex should be Pizza the speaker suggests, because everyone loves pizza but you're not always in the mood for it. Perfect! All of a sudden sex isn't a must or goal, it has a time and a place. Pizza is when you are hungry, when you're ready. It's delicious and the toppings change based on the person you are dining with. No more First Base, Second and Third. Now it can be what everyone is comfortable with, and when.

I loved this talk and the idea of it. I plan on teaching it to my kids if and when I have any. The idea is simple and yet it could change a the way teens think about sex. I imagined myself as teen and thinking about the Pizza Metaphor, not only do I think I would have laughed hearing it, but I think I would have been more comfortable with idea of it. Teens are still going to talk about sex, they are still going to pressure one another, and they are still going to have it before they are ready. But the idea of taking your time about it. Especially with someone who shares your likes and dislikes, which also takes time to learn.

What do you think of this new Sex Metaphor? Do you would have thought about sex differently growing up?

Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday

Relax!

Busy, busy, busy! I have been all over the place. We got settled into our new home and then work and life happened. Been trying to get some sort of schedule down. For the past couple months we have gone through a lot of ups and downs. Been under quite a bit of stress lately. Because of all the stuff going on, I have been having trouble sleeping. And if you have trouble sleeping you know, the next is really hard on your body and your mind.

One night I was doing my usual, worrying about things I couldn't change, and I caught myself wondering why I was wasting all this time instead of getting my beauty sleep. Have you ever tried to force yourself not to think? It's a little difficult.

The next day I made a point to look up yoga videos and start making a plan on yoga and mediation. I needed to learn to not think and get a part of day where I could recharge. Check out this article on basic ways to Recharge your body and your mind. I did a little of both. Being active or physical as well as meditation.

Once I found a yoga video that I felt would be at the pace I wanted I got settled in and pushed play. After a few poses I found, I wasn't listening to the instructor but still in my head worrying and just following the yogi's moves. Frustrated I thought back to my Maine Yoga Fest weekend. I had so much fun and the rest of the week I felt amazing and happy. I tried thinking of those couple of days and what maybe I needed to add to my routine. And then it came to me, music. When I was in my yoga classes, they would play music in the background, calming tones without lyrics. Where do you find music for yoga for free? YouTube! Well, that's where I found mine.

I now have my favorites. Following several channels and returning to the videos that I felt the most relaxed and comfortable listening to. The one above is for when I'm doing yoga or when I just need 5 or 10 minutes of silence in my head. I love it when I'm working and I just need to concentrate or just dealt with an unpleasant person. The customer is always right ya know! So it's just nice to center myself and get back into a neutral mood.

The videos are all different lengths. They start out at 3 hours but some are as long as 8 hours long. The one above I play right before I go to bed. Placing my phone near my pillow, I play the video and pray. I start out asking for help with everything going on and what I feel I can't handle. Once I feel that it's going into complaining mode, I start thanking God for the things I do have and things I can do. At some point I fall asleep.

Now these videos, yoga, and praying has worked for me, but it's understandable that it may not work for you. Some steps to figure out what does? Check out the link above titled Recharge and pick out a couple to try. Do them for a week and be consistent. A certain time every day or after a particular unpleasant event. Figure out which one works best for you. Your body isn't meant to continuously take on stress. That's why we are able to laugh or cry. We have breaking points that help us let go of everything all at once. Or we have some breaks from pain with a smile or giggle. Don't let stress hold you down. Take the time every day to push Reset. Your mind and body will thank you. You'll be more adaptable to your situations. You'll be more productive. And you'll be happier.

Thanks for Reading! 

Have a Sweeter Day Than Yesterday

Negative Ninees

You guesses it! This blog is about those Negative Ninees in your life.

They are everywhere. You can't get away from them. They're your friends, your coworkers and even your family members. If you read my blog Be Happy I mention an article that had a list of 39 things or habits happy people do daily. Check out the list. There's some good stuff on there. However, there is number 9, which says, "there best friends are happy people too." Now I'm expanding that thought from just friends but to people in general that are close to you. I've also read in other articles that people who are getting on a track of success need to get rid of those negative people in order to focus on their success and not let those no sayers drag them down. But sometimes these people are not so easy to get rid of and obviously if it's family you still want those people in your life.So this weeks positive thought is just some How To's that I learned the hard way and some I read about.

How to handle with Nay Sayers

1.) Stop telling them your dreams: if you have over the top dreams and you've mentioned it to a family member or friend and nothing good comes out of their mouth, you should probably stop trying to share your ambitions. In fact the people you should be talking to are people who are doing what you want to be doing, aka Networking. These people will help you by giving you advice or you may just watch and learn from the pros. Now some negative people may think that they are trying to help, they believe you are reaching to high. That's understandable, however, hearing over and over again that your dream is not realistic will end up turning into a reality because you too will start to believe it. So stop asking for advice or confiding in the wrong people, they will see your greatness soon enough.

2.) Spend more time away from them: again family and friends are hard to stay away from. But if you know you have to do a big project at work and that certain someone in your life is going to say, "well you don't have enough time," or "you don't have the resources." I read an article that was titled, How To Deal With Energy Vampires: 8 Simple Tips and found it not only a little humorous but helpful. Some people don't know how to be supportive. They are just naturally negative. Just remember that negative energy is contagious and you don't want to catch it.

3.) Ignore their criticisms: The link beside #3 is a pretty good article that might help you ignore negative people. The best way to be around people who are always saying negative things is to ignore them. Or you could try to be extremely positive and always have nice and kind things to say about everything and anything. Why? Just like negative energy, positive energy is also contagious. I do, however, know a few people who can not be happy. In fact they are not happy unless they are complaining. But I still try my hardest to be a ray of sunshine because you never know when you can be a positive influence on someone.

4.) Understand they may be jealous of your passion: a lot of negative people have things in their lives that are dragging them down. So when you come in as a ball of energy singing about a new job opportunity or about your new invention or your new dream to star on The Voice, they are not so supportive. They tend to break your dreams done with realistic logic. One thing to notice though is that these same people are where they are because of that same logic. It obviously pays to think logically when reaching for your dreams, coming up with plans of attack that will align you on the right path. However, you must also take risks and get out of your comfort zone in order to do great things. So again don't let them take your dreams from you because they are afraid to reach for theirs. Instead understand their limitations, but don't judge them.

So that's my thoughts for this week. Hope this helps you the next time you're super excited about your next adventure and you know a Negative Ninee isn't going to have faith in you, don't despair. Just ignore those dark comments and pointed jabs. Keep your distance mentally and if you can try to bring some light to those Debbie Downers, DO IT. Keep your dreams high, reach out to them daily, and be a shiny spot in someone's life.

Thanks for Reading!

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Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday 

Be Happy

Being positive isn't always easy. It should be and it can be, but you have to work at it. Work at being Positive? Yep. If you see or speak with a highly active and motivated person, you might wonder how are they always so excited and ready to take on everything. First thing you must know is that that isn't 24/7. They have bad days too, so don't get discouraged. Second thing you need to know is that it took that highly positive person a lot of time and work to keep that positive go-to attitude.

If you don't already know I am a worrier and I tend to dwell on things I can't change. Or I used to, a lot. While working at a store called Candy Craze I worked under a woman who tried her very best to solve every issue with fairness and with a positive outcome. Which helped me see that even though things can get bad you just need to get through them, learn from them, and solve them with a smile. Working with my old boss definitely changed my way of thinking, not only in the workplace but in my everyday life. 

Anyway, in my most recent job I am in charge of a couple business Facebooks and other social media networking. Part of my job is to find motivational entrepreneur articles to post on the business websites. While going through my typical sources I came across this list called 39 Habits of Extremely Happy People. I love the idea of the list and out of 39 here are my favorites. 

2. They have nice, positive things to say about others and do not gossip. 

When you say positive things about people you are thinking positive already plus whoever you're speaking to will think of you in a better light. So it's a great starting point when trying to change your outlook on things. If you are speaking ill of others, your thoughts are dark and will continue in that direction. 

5. They don't rehash the bad things that have happened to them. 

The past is the past. You can't go back and change it, so learn from it and move on. Constantly thinking about bad things that happened will make for a bad day and can keep taking up your time. Time you could be using to for the present. 

6. They know that another person won't increase their happiness.

People who look to others to make themselves happy, tend to not only be disappointed in those people they depend on but of course end up not very happy. You need to realize you make your own happiness. Looking more to hobbies to keep yourself busy, doing things you enjoy, or just taking time to find something that relaxes you and centers you. Looking to others to always cheer you up and keep your attitude in check will leave you always waiting. 

12. They smile and laugh a lot.

My husband is an extremely optimistic person. Always thinking of clever ways to help his team. One of his natural charms is his humor. When he tells me about his morning with his team I always end up asking if he even got any work done. You see my husband jokes a lot. But his team is loyal, positive, and they help each as well as believe in themselves. I think it's because their boss is smart but extremely silly and keeps them laughing. When talking to people try to smile more. Smiling and laughter is a medicine that's been around for years. 

15. They donate their time, energy, and money selflessly.

Happy people tend to see those around them struggling and want to spread their great fortune. Even if you are not at your best donating your time to someone can make a change. You may be in a bad mood, but you just made someone's day and that person smiles at you and thanks you. You know you're going to smile back. By helping those around you are creating a positive reaction that will spread, very similar to Pay It Forward. And usually what goes around comes around. By you helping that person out, you set into motion a chain reaction. It may not happen immediately, but you have done something good which will stir something inside of you. 

So if you are having trouble seeing the rainbow in the rain, you aren't looking hard enough. Stop focusing on the rain or how soaking wet you are. Focus on the positives. You're breathing, your belly is full, or maybe that you are about to get into your car and drive home where clean clothes are. And when you get there smile that you made it home! Smile when the clouds clear and you do see the colors of the rainbow. It doesn't matter that you got wet, what matters is that you made it though thinking of something better and knowing you were going to find that something better. Be grateful for what you have and who you are. And remember to share your happiness and wealth with others, because only good things come from great acts!

Thanks for Reading  My Thoughts 

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Hoping You Have  A 

Sweeter Day than Yesterday!