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February 8, 2015

Daddy's Should Set the Bar High

Okay ladies and gentlemen, a little life lesson from my perspective as a young girl growing up. First let me say this blog is not meant to be judgy, but more my thoughts based on my experiences and what I want for little girls who will eventually become young women. 

I saw the above quote floating around Facebook and I just had to share it. "A daughter needs a Dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men." Which I totally agree. 

Dads get your daughter something sweet.
Growing up my father worked very long hours to provide for our family. He mostly worked in workshops, working with metal and glass molds. This was not a glamorous job as you can imagine, however, he never failed to show up to work on even when he was sick. During this time he also went to college twice! A full time job of 40+ hours a week, full time school schedule and would never except anything less than Dean's List from himself. Now my father did not have time to play tea parties with me and he apologized once to me for not doing more with me growing up. Even though he didn't play pretend or sat through dull tea parties, I do have a couple memories playing hind and seek with my brother and I. And I my most precious moments were sitting on his lap in his recliner watching movies. 

Another father figure in my life was my uncle. He and my father were rather close even though they were not related by blood, but by marriage. A marriage that did not work out mind you. So for years they stayed close and were there for each other. My uncle and my dad worked in the same shop and would hang out often. One thing they together was talk. A lot. And when grew old he and my aunt would sit and talk with me. Something that always sticks in my mind is my uncle saying, "well let me play devil's advocate for a minute." 

My mother met a man and was with this man for 10+ years and in that time I adopted him as anther father figure in my life. Meeting him later in my teens I liked him because he actually made time for my brother and I.  The other men that mother had dated never seemed to bother with my brother and I. Did they pick us up from school when asked? Yes. But they didn't make plans with us. My stepfather took my brother and I to the movies often without my mother. She didn't care for the movies we liked. He also took us to the library. Which was humorous because he didn't like to read. He and my mother would make popcorn and we would have movie nights. I even wrestled with him. He was an ornery man with love for 2 teenagers that were not his own children. I still call him and visit him when I get the chance. 

Now that you've read all this you should be able to guess what my husband is like, right? I met my husband in my senior year of high school. We were both each other's firsts and we have been together for over 9 years now. When we first started dating my husband was the class clown. I loved his humor and the positive energy that radiated off of him. He is also a very hard worker. At the age of 25 he is a market manager doing sales and marketing. 

My husband reminds me of my dad, my uncle, and my stepfather. He works pretty much everyday, cares for his team and works even when we are home. Even though he is a manager now he still continues to research and network with others to learn as much as possible. Understanding that even though he is the boss he doesn't know everything and there is always something to learn to make himself a better leader. 

My husband is also extremely ornery. There are times where his humor doesn't have an off switch. He enjoys making others laugh. There have been times when I'm trying to argue with him and he has one liners that derail me, so I end up smiling while I'm trying to be serious and angry. He is extremely honest and cares for people in a way that when I met him most teenage boys did not. 

When my husband works day after day, for hours and hours and talks to me about someday retiring without worry, he reminds me of my father. When my husband jokes with me and says he's a stud and I say,"Who told you that?" He grins at me and says, "The list would be shorter of who didn't tell me that." He reminds my of my stepdad. When my husband is dealing with an unreasonable person, he tries to stay calm and see it from their point of view. Which reminds me of my uncle.

So my thoughts when I saw that quote on Facebook was immediately how I look at my husband on a daily basis and see the men that were in my life growing up. This is just my opinion, but I feel that a little girl takes a lot from those around her growing. And based on how those people act is how she will treat others as well as how she will have others treat her.

So men and Dad's out there raising a little girl or the next teenage boy, you should probably check your actions. Not to say everyone can stay calm and collected at all times. But there is a point when you are fighting with your wife, arguing with the neighbor, or complaining about going to work when others have things handed to them that you must look at your child and think what are they taking away from my attitude right now. Will this help them to be a better person when they're an adult or will they struggle like I have struggled? Do I want my daughter to date someone like me or have my son treat a young lady like I treat his mother? If the answer to these questions is."YES." Then awesome. Both of my Dad's like my husband and they are pretty funny when they are all hanging out with each other. Ornery men seem to have a lot to talk about. 

Thanks for Reading 

I Hope you Have 
Sweeter Day