Blue Lipstick?

So this brings back memories! I was at the dollar store yesterday and found some matte blue lipstick. I got super excited because usually funky color lipsticks are color changing for kids. This one however was solid blue matte. I immediately wanted it. While holding in my hand trying to contain my excitement I thought about where I would where it to and when. And then it suddenly occurred to me probably only on Halloween. My elation deflated. I haven't worn blue lipstick since high school.

I remember every morning getting up super early, applying my lipstick, spraying my hair with blue hair spray, wearing fish net hose, combat boots, and a mini skirt. I remember taking the bus to school every morning, being in class, walking the halls, and going to football games and having a confidence I no longer possess. I know now that it was a false sort of confidence, but I do miss the sense of bravery I received from it.

You see I was very much an average girl in all things. Average hair, not brown, not blonde but some sort of color that could be described as dirty blonde. I was pale as a ghost or pink, never the rich tan color most teen girls strived for back then. No curves what to speak of, quite literally a walking stick, and bullied quite a bit and teased I was anorexic. Far from it, my favorite past time is eating. Pizza, Chinese and Ice Cream were my basic food groups. Judged for my cheery attitude was to hyper and weird. Never had a boyfriend til I was 16 and that didn't last long. I would be almost 19 before my second boyfriend, who for some reason married me and is still with me today.

I am a very strong believer on things happen for a reason. One day I wanted to play around with my make-up and get a more purple color of lipstick, not having the right shades I added blue eye shadow to a concoction. The result? Not purple, but a light colored blue. I liked it and went with it. My favorite color quickly changed from pink to blue and has stayed that way. I loved the fantasy look. Fairy's, witches, dragons. I loved the idea and as a result I liked the looks I received. People would stare and I didn't care that they thought I was a freak. Because I was freak on my OWN terms. Not theirs. No longer being snickered at that I was too skinny and alien, no longer told that I was weird because I was weird, didn't have a boyfriend or that I was still a virgin. I was the girl in the blue lipstick.

I was lucky enough to have friends that didn't care about my phase at all. They stuck around all through high school and some I still speak to today. I think they knew me and that I needed an outlet. I honestly can say not one friend even asked why blue? Just one day it was just who I was. It does make me sad though, I literally have no pictures of those 2 years. There are a few pictures of me glaring at the camera without my disguise, which I just found annoying that anyone would want a picture of me in the first place. So ununique. My parents and loved me, told me I was beautiful, but that was their job. Of course they think their child is wonderful. I just think all the snickering fed into my brain and I fell for the peer pressure, just like all teens do.

During this time though, I feel I really learned about relationships just by watching the mistakes of teens around me. Teen pregnancy did not pass by our school. Teen relationships were as fickle as they are today. And I learned that even though I was a blue freak, some boys still looked my way and even pursued me. I learned that you could be odd and boys will still try to see under your skirt. Hormones are hormones after all. And I wanted something that was going to last.

At some point before my senior year, I stopped wearing my blue lipstick that gave me confidence. I stopped wearing my mini skirts, fishnet tights, and corsets that made me feel sexy and gave me some sort of illusion of shape. I stopped wearing my lace up combat boots that made me feel strong. I stopped spraying my hair blue, no longer hiding my overwhelmingly average hair. It started out as time, I needed more time for sleep and studying. And then it suddenly became how do I possibly do neutrals? Light brown eye shadows and slightly tinted pink lip gloss. All of a sudden I wanted to be average and blend it. Had college on my mind. Work , study, focus and then my husband came along. A teen boy that was relentless. Just moved and new to our school, he had tons of energy and tried is hardest to be positive about his new home 1,900 miles away from his old one and friends. I wasn't sure at first but he was patient and willing to wait around.

What does my marriage have to do with blue lipstick. Not sure exactly. I just know that for two years I was growing into who I was and who I wanted to be and who I wanted to share myself with. Two years is a long time to be with oneself and I think it helped me really focus on me. Most teens were trying to please everyone and have adult relationships, while I was trying to stick out and be a strangling among all the humans. I wanted to be different for me and only me. I know adults didn't like it and I may have offended students at school with my choice of clothes and color scheme, but in the end I grew out of my rebel phase and into who I am today.

1) I guess my positive thoughts to share are don't let anyone bully you into changing who are and what you want to be.

2) Understand yourself and what you want out of life.

3) Don't rush into a relationship because you are lonely and think it's not normal to be on your own.

4) Your are a unique individual! There is no one like you, literally.

~ Have a Sweeter Day than Yesterday ~    

Relax!

Busy, busy, busy! I have been all over the place. We got settled into our new home and then work and life happened. Been trying to get some sort of schedule down. For the past couple months we have gone through a lot of ups and downs. Been under quite a bit of stress lately. Because of all the stuff going on, I have been having trouble sleeping. And if you have trouble sleeping you know, the next is really hard on your body and your mind.

One night I was doing my usual, worrying about things I couldn't change, and I caught myself wondering why I was wasting all this time instead of getting my beauty sleep. Have you ever tried to force yourself not to think? It's a little difficult.

The next day I made a point to look up yoga videos and start making a plan on yoga and mediation. I needed to learn to not think and get a part of day where I could recharge. Check out this article on basic ways to Recharge your body and your mind. I did a little of both. Being active or physical as well as meditation.

Once I found a yoga video that I felt would be at the pace I wanted I got settled in and pushed play. After a few poses I found, I wasn't listening to the instructor but still in my head worrying and just following the yogi's moves. Frustrated I thought back to my Maine Yoga Fest weekend. I had so much fun and the rest of the week I felt amazing and happy. I tried thinking of those couple of days and what maybe I needed to add to my routine. And then it came to me, music. When I was in my yoga classes, they would play music in the background, calming tones without lyrics. Where do you find music for yoga for free? YouTube! Well, that's where I found mine.

I now have my favorites. Following several channels and returning to the videos that I felt the most relaxed and comfortable listening to. The one above is for when I'm doing yoga or when I just need 5 or 10 minutes of silence in my head. I love it when I'm working and I just need to concentrate or just dealt with an unpleasant person. The customer is always right ya know! So it's just nice to center myself and get back into a neutral mood.

The videos are all different lengths. They start out at 3 hours but some are as long as 8 hours long. The one above I play right before I go to bed. Placing my phone near my pillow, I play the video and pray. I start out asking for help with everything going on and what I feel I can't handle. Once I feel that it's going into complaining mode, I start thanking God for the things I do have and things I can do. At some point I fall asleep.

Now these videos, yoga, and praying has worked for me, but it's understandable that it may not work for you. Some steps to figure out what does? Check out the link above titled Recharge and pick out a couple to try. Do them for a week and be consistent. A certain time every day or after a particular unpleasant event. Figure out which one works best for you. Your body isn't meant to continuously take on stress. That's why we are able to laugh or cry. We have breaking points that help us let go of everything all at once. Or we have some breaks from pain with a smile or giggle. Don't let stress hold you down. Take the time every day to push Reset. Your mind and body will thank you. You'll be more adaptable to your situations. You'll be more productive. And you'll be happier.

Thanks for Reading! 

Have a Sweeter Day Than Yesterday

Self Pity Holding You Back

So when other people aren't dragging us down, what holds us back from reaching our goals? Us! As in me or the great I can't. I recently read an article titled, 9 Ways Mentally Strong People Prevent Self-Pity From Sabotaging Their Success. Super long name but the article was interesting. It makes sense that successful and/or happy people are the way they are because of their mindset. They see things differently. They don't dwell and they don't complain. They look at what's in front of them and push through, instead of trying to go around it or even turn around and take the easier path.

So this week's positive thought is SNAP OUT OF IT. :) We all have bad days and bad times, but it's how we handle those situations that make us or break us.

Bad days and time periods are always going to be in our life. They are always going to pop up when you don't want them too. But if you just sit back and say well there's nothing I can do then you're right, nothing will get done. Nothing will ever change. Nothing will ever get better. When you look at your situation and think it will never get better then it won't because you said it won't. Because you didn't look at your situation and raise to the challenge. 

Not going to lie, I don't like my current situation. I live in an area where I don't know anyone. I work from home so I meet no one and my husband works really long shifts so I'm home alone with the animals all day long. Though I love my fur babies they are not much for conversation or motivation. In fact they motivate me to snuggle with them and sleep the day away, but then the bills wouldn't get paid and the house wouldn't be clean. Since I work from home I must get myself out of bed, set a schedule, and stick to it. I walk the dog every day to get me out of the house and make sure I don't wear my pajamas all day long. I look for groups and clubs to join in my area so I can get to know the neighborhood and hopeful make some lasting friendships. Next week I'm going to be in a 5k with a friend I met once at short film where we both volunteered as extras. I can't change where I am. My husband's work is here and this is where we live now, over 16 hours away from my friends of 10 years and 30 hours away from my family. This is it. So I could pout and whine and complain. Or I can search the internet and get involved in something. 

Life isn't always fair, but if we lie down it will continue to hold us because we are allowing it to. So get up! Change your mind set and figure out how to push through, because the other side is going to make you stronger mentally and change your environment for the better. Check out the article above and start making some changes mentally. Start looking at your situations differently and you'll start to see once your mindset is strong you'll be able to reach those goals or that happiness you want so much. But you have to change the way you think and then you need to put those thoughts to action. No one else is going to change the way you think about things. You can though. You can do anything you put your mind to. 

Thanks for reading!

Have a Sweeter Day Than Yesterday!