So I've been struggling lately with people I get frustrated with. There is someone in particular that I am losing my patience with and I just get angry every time I hear something about them or speak with them. I don't yell at them and I don't tell them I'm annoyed by the things that they do. I do, however, complain about them to my husband and I think about the things I wish I could tell them all the time. Which are usually blunt mean statements. Even though I know this person needs help and they don't know what they are doing wrong, I still let their actions get under my skin.
I also have been trying to take my bible studying seriously. Since I don't have a church where I currently live I don't have anyone telling me what to learn and look up. A friend of mine told me about New Spring Church which is located in South Carolina. They are a growing church with several campuses and they record their serves to be posted. I watch them from time to time and I just noticed they have devotionals as well. Which would be more independent study. So I poked around clicked on a random devotional and started reading. How To Love the Unlovable.
Of course I had my bible app handy and started following along and was taking pen to paper when it started to sink in what this was all about. It ended up being about me and my mindset when it came to a certain person. 1 John 3:14-15 "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever hates not love abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer has eternal life abiding in him."
It really hit home. I may not be an actual murderer but in my heart I know that it is ruling me. It's creating darkness and a hate that isn't just staying directed at one person but spreading into conversation and views when I talk to my husband about things. When I read the devotion I knew immediately that God was telling me I need to let things go. Be more forgiving or at least understanding. This person is struggling with many things and I guess what upsets me is I don't see any attempt at trying to get better. But after reading the devotional, I know that my outlook and my lack of loving action is not helping solve anything either.
Positive thought for this week is to be understanding of other's pain. To be more gentle and loving toward others no matter their actions. And lastly to help those who need it most and don't realize how lost they are.